Are you the recipient of bulling or do you know some one who is a bully?

Probably most of us have been bullied at one point in our lives.  My first experience was in the third grade when my teacher, a catholic nun taught her students through bullying and then through abuse; If you didn’t know your multiple times tables, she would take the wooden ruler and smack you either across the knuckles or the back of your legs.

We were taught through fear and intimidation and that experience did cause me to be quite cautious when speaking out in school.  It is funny because I knew all the answers but I would not share for fear of being embarrassed or harmed.  We recently hosted a workshop with a group of business professionals and two of the men shared their experiences with the group of being bullied as students and how those experiences have contributed to the way they think and perform today.   No one wants to feel embarrassed by his or her peers or even looked at as not able to fit in.  We tend to want to be seen by others as their equal.  A recent study has shown that between 10 and 20 percent of residents in senior care facilities are mistreated by their peers, says Robin Bonifas, an Arizona State University gerontology expert. 

This is nothing new; it has been going on for decades yet if we took the time to really look at the problem, we actually could come up with a meaningful solution.  Bullying is simply a form of aggressive behavior by a person or group of people who feel mistreated themselves and believe that their violent treatment of others makes them feel better.  I regret that the government thinks it needs to get involved and create more laws and I further regret that we, the people can’t get our acts together to promote a campaign to help change the way people think and act.  We most definitely can make a difference if we would only take the matter seriously.  Just think about it for a moment!  No one would try to bully if they didn’t have an audience—others who thought that that approach was cool and acceptable.  It takes courage to be able to stand tall or simply walk away from someone who acts in an abusive manner. 

Our socio-economic climate is focused around negative behavior, thoughts and let’s be honest rumors that tend to destroy or even create worry and fear—you know, if you can’t win everyone over, do it through psychological warfare, like intimidation, social exclusion or extortion.

The principle of caring and sharing for your fellow man has been overlooked and replaced by do whatever it takes to get ahead.  Maybe we need to change our reward system and start honoring those who exhibit the traits of compassion through cooperation as we build win/win opportunities instead of ruinous competition.  Those are my thoughts!  I would love to hear your comments.  



Joan Marie Ambrose
Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

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