Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Say what you mean or don’t say anything at all


How many times in life do we speak without thinking of the consequences?  We make promises or offer help and then fail to deliver?  That exact situation happened this week to one of our friends.  She was looking for a means to improve her skills and gain greater knowledge and the program that she was hoping to partake in cost a lot of money. She needed to get a loan.  Over the years she had three friends who continually offered to help her grow her business and she always turned them down but this time, she found exactly what she wanted and went to each individual who had made the offers time and time again.  She received the comments:”  Of course I want to help you, let me think how I can give you the funds to help you out.”  Weeks went by and the conversations continued with promises that they were committed to help but nothing came of it.  Then last week one of the persons said:  “You have got my word, you will have the money in two days.” That conversation was then followed by several e-mail conversations whereby this person changed his mind because he didn’t like the teacher in the program.  This woman who was eagerly looking forward to starting the program in 5 days had her heart broken because some one said something that they didn’t mean and they definitely didn’t mean what they said. 

In your life, the story line might change but if you are anything like me, people who speak without sincerity and integrity most certainly have confronted you. We see it all the time in the political and educational arena where the elected officers make promises only to break them.  When I was growing up, my Father and his business associates made contracts with their word and a handshake.  I have always done the same.  If I say I am going to do something, I know that I cannot rest until I fulfill my obligation.   By obligation, I mean that if I open my mouth to say I am going to do something, I keep my word.  It might take time to fulfill it, but rest assured, it will be accomplished. 

Too often in today’s environment, I have observed that many people say things to impress others without understanding the ramification behind their words.  Not only are we teaching bad examples to our youth by our behavior but we are also being dishonest with our selves.

One of the ways that we communicate with others is through our words.  If we misuse the power of our words we actually mis-communicate.  That is one of the reasons we have such a high level of divorce in our country.  We are constantly mis -communicating with our partners and even our associates in the business world; therefore, how can we expect to receive what we are looking for?

Somewhere along the way, we have lost sight of what we value and what we mean.  We have become self-serving and feel a need to control others especially if they have placed themselves in the position of seeking help.  It seems to me, that part of our purpose for being here in the first place is to help others as we wish to be helped.  Some of us are more fortunate than others and that is all the more reason to be open to sharing your wisdom—so others can benefit just like you.  When we are all open to giving and receiving in life, we equally all benefit. 

“Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”  --Miguel Angel Ruiz

“There are three principles in a man's being and life, the principle of thought, the principle of speech, and the principle of action. The origin of all conflict between me and my fellow-men is that I do not say what I mean and I don't do what I say.”   -- Martin Buber


Joan Marie Ambrose
Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

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