Do you want to create change in those you love?

You can’t change the character of a person if they don’t care.  That is a fact.  It is not your right or your job to change someone else.  That power belongs only to that person but you most definitely have the power to influence others by your positive and good example.  I have observed in my life that too many people believe that they have the ability to change their spouse or partner or even their family and children but in truth it is a futile exercise that never has a happy ending.  We, too often, seem to think that we can fix others but at the same time we have a problem fixing our own lives. We want our partners and children to accept our point of view but we ourselves don’t have a true picture of what our view hold. 

Yet if I can encourage you to be a good and sound example to your partner, family members and/or children by your value centered actions, you will manifest change.  If you want to become the kind of person that others want to follow, I suggest that it will be experienced through your positive representation and/ or modeling as you lead by example—that is powerful.  Just think about it for a moment.  If you want others to change and emulate you and your behavior, you are the one who has to show the way by your personal behavior, attitude and beliefs.  If you want others to follow you, I believe you must give them something valuable and worthwhile to follow. 

So how can you create change in others?

1.  Do not insult, put down or belittle them.  Negativity actually weakens us and those whom we inflict our negative words towards react accordingly.  It is most helpful to spread positive and inspirational thoughts and words that allow others to get motivated and imaginative in their pursuit to excellence.

2.  Listen with your heart and then follow it with your ears and you will most definitely find the right words to lead and cause others to follow.  Too often we allow our Ego Mind to lead our heart and unfortunately that leads to disaster.  You will soon learn and understand how easy it is to get others to listen to your words when you allow your words and heart to speak with kindness, thoughtfulness and constructive reasoning.

3.  Always be respectful and responsible in your reasoning and direction in getting your point across.  People notice how we treat them and the way we think about them so I encourage you to treat others the way you want to be treated. 

4.  Place your focus on solutions not the problem.  Some people just don’t get it—they have no clue how to be professional and too often their work ethic is flawed but that does not give you the right to attack and belittle others.  So I encourage you to attempt to find the solution to your problem and work towards creating it, do not focus on the problem. 

5.  Examine all the other points of view.  It would be most helpful if you understood that just maybe your view is not the best and that there are alternatives that might work better.  I have found that when you are open to listen to and explore the view of others, you just might learn something that will benefit you and your relationships.  Remember, we are all striving to become perfect and do a good job.  We all experience difficult shortcomings that are challenging but with effort and focus, we can and will improve when encouraged and shown a better way.

 

Joan Marie Ambrose

Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker