Managing your expectations

With the holiday season upon us, we often find ourselves placing high expectations on the way we want our holiday to turn out.  To avoid getting sad or being let down, maybe in advance you should try to manage your expectations.  It doesn’t just have to be the holiday’s either, if you are planning a trip, your wedding or anything that requires your input, it is only natural to bolster up your enthusiasm and raise your expectations. Too often we build up our excitement in anticipation of an event or special plans only to find that our expectations fall short of our reality. 

When you are planning a big event, maybe this is the time to build in a safety net so as to protect you from extreme disappointment or let down.  I have learned over the years, for example on my birthday or a holiday that means something to me to buy or do something special just for me prior to the event that would bring me great joy and satisfaction thereby protecting me from disappointment or deflated joy.  I always buy me a birthday gift; something that I want so when I receive things that have zero meaning or value to me, I accept them with an open heart and gratitude because I did not build my expectations up.  I no longer leave room in my life for big disappointments because I find satisfaction with what is placed in front of me.  I have grown to realize that I cannot control all my outcomes and I certainly cannot control other people but I do have the power to protect and nurture my feelings and energy so that I am not negatively affected by the outcome that is placed in front of me. 

I have discovered that even though my children were brought up in my traditions and ways, when they leave my home and create a life for themselves, they create their own traditions.  They no longer want to imitate me but rather find new ways of satisfying their needs.  That is a fact of life and the sooner I realized that fact, the happier I became.  Their vision is not my vision and their tastes are not mine either that is why I have learned to minimize any negative effects by leaving room for flexibility and adaptability—two valuable skills to learn as you adjust your attitude and behavior to better serve you and those in your sphere of influence. 

Managing your expectations is a skill that you develop and build upon. It requires you to release yourself from your attachment to any outcome that is dictated by others.   When you are speaking to your feelings, it is up to you to prepare yourself for various types of results.  What has helped me tremendously is my conscious effort to release the situation and end result and allow God, the Universal Energy to guide my journey.  That does not mean that I do not prepare or take the necessary action steps, it simply means that I release the outcome realizing that God, My creator has a better plan.  I know that it will be revealed to me as needed. 

I am continually reminding myself of what is important in life and what is secondary.  We tend to place too much emphasis on those situations or events that are not in the bigger scheme of things important to our survival.  When I choose to roll with the situation rather than attempt to dictate it, I feel better and happier.  Remember, no one has the power to control your mood except you.  Keep your focus, decide what is important and what is secondary and be more flexible then you will be able to say with joy, you are able to manage your life and its turn of events with ease.

Joan Marie Ambrose

Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker