Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Do you sometimes feel rejected?



At some point in all of our lives, we have felt rejected.  Rejection hurts no matter how old you are; however, it is how you deal with it that really matters.   I have seen the many shades of rejection in my life and the lives of those that I love and while it is a difficult emotion to swallow, when we learn to breath deeply and go within our soul to analyze the situation, we often receive the right answer and see the correct picture that helps us better understand the reasoning behind the situation. 

Men and woman have been dumped because they no longer look or act young, Children have been rejected because they were not good enough for the sport or role and in the job market, people are being passed over because they didn’t meet the right criteria.  Let’s face it, the person being reject is not thought worthy enough so their self-esteem is threatened and their level of confidence is weakened. 

There have been numerous studies on this topic because people have resorted to many different get even tactics to find resolve yet I believe that the most effective way to deal with rejection is through one’s ability to turn the other cheek.  You must make a conscious effort to change your point of view and move onward and upward if you want to heal.   How do you accomplish that, you might ask? 

First, do not hid from the rejection—acknowledge and accept the facts and try to look at the bigger picture.  Possibly there is a valuable lesson to be learned – one that can alter your behavior and reap you greater results. 

Second, do not harbor anger or resentment.  Instead, forgive and move on because the only one who suffers because of unforgiveness is you.  Remember that in order to feel and be free you must let go of the darkness of unforgiveness.  You have more important things to do with your energy so why not use it to help you grow and succeed? 

Third, build a support team.  There is no shame in asking for guidance and help.  It is truly a wise man/woman who understands the power behind building a solid foundation.  Your support team can lighten your load. 

Fourth, Create an environment around you that nurtures and enriches your life.  If you have negative people in your life that continually gossip, judge or manipulate consider changing your environment to change your life.  Surround your self with like-minded people who are up beat and positive in nature.

Fifth, Learn to trust again in a loving and compassionate manner.  When you get hurt, it is often difficult to trust others.  Please do not close off your heart.  Learn to become an observers of others behavior and use sound judgment when choosing friends and acquaintances.  Actions always speak louder than words. 

And Finally, be conscious and alert.  Don’t keep replaying your old story.  You are not a victim so do not fall into that trap.  You have all the power within you to shift gears and change your life so it can reflect what you want to achieve. Too often I have seen people stuck in their anger and resentment – that behavior can only lead to more pain and dis-ease within the mind, body and spirit. 

That behavior is self-destruction and can only result in hardship.  Your positive attitude, behavior and environment are what will determine your outcome.  

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Don't waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the goodFinish each day and be done with it.  You have done what you could."

We all know that reject can be painful but never forget that you get to choose each day how you will allow it to affect your life.  Do you want it to strengthen and empower you or drag you down?  You get to decide!




 
 Joan Marie Ambrose
Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

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