Do you communicate clearly?

Most of us think that we share our thoughts and feelings adequately in order to get our message out but I would like to challenge you on this topic and as I share I hope you will be honest with yourself and then decide what is true for you. 

In the long run you are the only one who matters and what you believe will determine the way you perform.  But I would like to remind you that if your life is not working the way you had hoped or people are not understanding what you are trying to say, quite possibly you are ready to learn something from this message that just might be of benefit to you. 

The ability to communicate your messages and your feelings is an art that most people fail at big time. Many people do not place sufficient value on this skill but I would like to remind you that one’s ability to share his/her thoughts and feelings properly is the cornerstone that all relationships must be built upon if we want those encounters to be lasting and fulfilling.   Communication is defined as a process or means to reveal either verbal or nonverbal messages in a clear and meaningful way and without malice.

I realize that in today’s world there are many forms or ways to share your message, like through the internet, texting or the telephone as well as through the various social media sites but I must say that there is no substitution for face to face communication because it is a personal expression of your feelings to the one person who at that moment in time is waiting for an honest and genuine dialogue.    It is only through that eyeball-to-eyeball connection that a true and sincere expression can be felt and shared between two human beings.

Whether you are in a one to one setting or in a group, your ability to express your reasoning is paramount.  This is your opportunity to get your point across and to transmit your message so that others who are listening can and will receive it with clarity and hopefully a beneficial outcome for all.  Outcome based thinking or conscious thinking is an important approach to problem solving and/or negotiation; and let’s face it, when we have something of value to say, it usually requires one or both of those approaches in order to arrive at your end goal. 

One of the first keys or steps to effective communication is knowing what it is that you want to share or impart.  If you lack a purpose or meaning behind your communicating, you most likely are exchanging small talk, which tends to be empty and shallow.  If however, you are hoping to participate in a significant conversation that expresses meaningful content, you will want to develop effective communication skills that will empower you and your life experience.  

If you want to cultivate a happy and healthy relationship with someone, whether it is a business relationship or a personal relationship another important step to remember is determining what the other person values—in other words, what is important to them and why.  For example, if you value integrity and health related topics as two traits at the top of your list and the other person’s values focus around fun and success, you may discover that you are coming from two completely different value charts and your differences could greatly affect your relationship and motivation. 

Your ability to communicate what is important to you and what you value is key when developing a strong and fruitful relationship.  But thirdly, do not forget that acknowledging the other person and either agreeing or expressing a counter opinion helps bring the cycle of communication to a close without feeling conflicted.  Many people end their conversations by saying good-bye but if you are not planning to end the connection, a simple closure to that one topic is sufficient.  Then you can open the door to a new topic and build on your communicating skills in an interesting and creative way.  A good communicator is a good listener.  Don’t let your eye wander—pay attention to whoever is speaking and make them feel special.  If you show others that respect, they will return it in kind. 

 Joan Marie Ambrose

Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker