Do you judge and criticize others?

That was an easy lesson for me to learn.  I do not judge others because I realize that we are all here in the classroom of life learning how to get it—whatever ‘get it’ means.  I must admit I tend to be critical of myself and I do ask others to step up and take responsibility for what they are doing, but there is a huge difference between commenting or critiquing some one and judging them. To judge someone or something is to make an assumption while to critique someone or something is to evaluate the situation or circumstances in order to examine my options and reach a conclusion.

 If you do not know the difference let me attempt to explain it to you by this example.  I work with many different people who are accountable to me or my staff for projects that are required to be completed.  When the task is not accomplished or if the individual does not appear to be giving their best I will bring it to their attention.  I ask a lot of questions, I expect answers and if they do not come, I critique or evaluate the situation and dig deeper to see what is preventing the flow of positive communication.  I do not judge the person, I do, however, try to assess and review the assignment to determine how I need to proceed.  My intention is not to find fault but rather to get to the bottom of why the task is not carried out in a timely and successful manner.  It is only then that I can determine what the next step needs to be.  Sometimes I need to nudge them forward, give a vote of confidence or simply question their approach in order to arrive at the right conclusion.

My goal is to make the situation flow smoothly and in that process, it is also important to also ask questions, communicate clearly and express my feelings as to how I expect a task to be accomplished.  By exploring this process, I am in a better position to guide, instruct and even help the other person satisfy my requirements in a happy and friendly manner.  There is no room for judgment only understanding and consideration. 

Whether it is another adult or a child, the scenario remains the same.  It should never be our intention to put down, belittle or judge another person.  That type of behavior is demeaning and harmful yet when we  inquire, look for common ground and encourage others to be focused and sharp in their thinking, we are not only helping the cause but we are also helping the person learn and grow. 

Each one of us can be a teacher for another and at the same time, we all can be a student.  I have often said that I will continue to learn something till the moment I die.  I like that thought!  It is exciting and invigorating to know that I am continually learning something new and growing.  I also believe that the opposite is depressing because when we stop learning and growing we are preparing to die.

A person with good judgment skills is a person who can make a common sense decision.  Make the time to think about these words and see how you have shaped your attitude, behavior and the environment in which you live. 

Joan Marie Ambrose

Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker