The Process of Getting Older

I look at Betty and I see that she has aged gracefully.  I am sure she has had her challenges and set backs during her long life but her attitude and body language, since I have known her is positive and outgoing.  Probably due to her stubbornness in the past, her present moment is less than ideal.  She has continually rejected assistance from others and during these twilight years has chosen to live alone only because she has not found the right person to give her the nurturing care she seeks and deserves.

When I look at her choices I realize that I will need to think about my choice for my future.  It alerts me to the fact that I, too, am getting older day by day so I better start making mental preparations for my future.  I do not know what my future will hold but I do know that I choose to take care of myself for as long as I can.  I also realize that how I live my life today is a small window into the future of how I will age.  I choose to stay healthy and active.  I eat well and always enjoy a good meal.  In fact, I give thanks daily that I can enjoy a feast—and most of the time, I eat alone yet that doesn’t stop me from enjoying my feast. 

Do you see my attitude and behavior?  As far as I am concerned, the power lies within me – that is the power to maintain a happy and healthy outlook about my life and how I live it.  The power lies within me to cook and eat nurturing meals including fresh vegetables and fruit.  I must admit I have a weakness to sugar and I am working on keeping it in control.  I blame that on my upbringing because after every dinner we always had dessert yet I refuse to let that weakness stop me from staying in balance.  Discipline and constant awareness are two traits that help me maintain that balance.  I am an active woman.  I go to the gym five mornings a week for 1 to 2 hours where I take classes or workout on the machines.  In between I walk 1-3 miles daily in the early evening.  I love walking in nature and take advantage of the beautiful landscape that surrounds me. 

  

I have told myself from a young age that I do not want to grow old in poor health.  As a result, I have made a conscious effort to live as healthy as possible.  I am not a purist, I certainly have my weak points, but I work on being in balance with my mind, body and spirit.

I am learning to have greater compassion for me and I am conscious of the messages that my body is sharing with me.  It is important to remember that your body is a living organism and will respond to you and the way you treat it.  If you verbally put it down and find fault with your looks and your body, it will begin to shut down and die off.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, it may take years, but that is exactly what will happen.  So I encourage you to engage in a conversation with your self and let your body know how much you appreciate it. 

When many people approach the age of 40 or 50 they believe that they have reached the climax of their life; that the best part of their lives is behind them and they assume that it is all down hill from here. That is absolutely false! I may not be as fluid as I was when I was 23, but I am still a vital person who feels and is very much alive.  I personally believe that each stage of life, and my life particularly, offers something to be explored.  When I was younger and raising 4 children, my needs and desires were totally different than they are today.  Now I have the time to explore new horizons—experience different adventures and learn new ways of living as I open myself up to change. 

I wonder if the issue here is one of fear of change more than it is one of growing in age.  Change to most people is frightening.  It must be part of human nature to be afraid of the unknown yet once it is revealed to us, our perception changes and we realize that it is something grander than we ever imagined.  I have said: “When you change what you believe, you change what you do. Change and growth can only come when one is willing to open up to my possibilities.”  Think about those words.  Let them filter into the recesses of your mind and heart as they help you open up to a greater awareness of self.  Be loving and compassionate to self.  Express it often and let your body know that you care.




Joan Marie Ambrose

Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

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The power of the mind

Like everything else in life, the process of aging or getting older has a lot to do with your mental attitude, your outlook of life and the environment within which you live.  Using Betty again as an example, she is a 98 year old woman who was married 5 times, never drove a car and doesn’t know how to cook.  During her lifetime, she enjoyed the benefits of having others do those things for her.  When I ask her about her past, her comment always is:  “Who can remember?”  Yet I know from my own personal experience that while I do not remember ever detail of my past life, I truly can remember the highlights – those memorable moments or times when I felt fulfilled and happy with who I was and who I have become.  When Betty mentions men or sees a good looking man, she immediately responds and wants to strike up a conversation.  She loves to interact with men and thoroughly enjoys bantering with them.  Even if she is tired and a little out of sorts, her entire physiology changes in an instant.  Something in her mind must trigger happy moments with men and she reacts immediately.  I also discovered that when she saw me and I walked into her room, her energy immediately shifted and she got up and wanted to become active.  She smiled, she expressed herself clearly and she made a conscious choice to get up and do something---whether it be go to the kitchen to eat, work on a puzzle or word game or go outside for a walk.  She was and is able to shift gears immediately and in her ability to shift, she has opened herself up to moments of enjoyment and happiness.  These activities bring her joy.  They are fun and she reacts to them with a positive mind and spirit.

My point here is each one of us is capable of shifting gears in our lives.  We have the power to go from a depressed mood to a happy mood if we are willing to make that choice.  We have the power to think positive thoughts in place of negative thoughts if that is our choice and we also have the power to improve our mental attitude and the environment in which we live when we make a conscious effort to do so.   The mind is a powerful tool that can be programmed to experience what you want it to feel.  Many people do not believe in the power of the mind and unfortunately treat it as though it doesn’t matter. 

I ask you to look at it this way; our body and our mind are mechanisms.  We are machines—very elaborate machines with many intricate parts.  Just like a car, if our ride is not smooth and the car is not performing at peak, we try to shift gears; we look for a way to make a change so that the performance that we are seeking is just right. 

Now look at the power behind the mind.  When our performance is off and we feel down or stressed, we actually have the power to shift gears and alter our performance if that is our choice.  Through re-programming our mind, we can learn to shift gears instantaneously.  At first you may not be making a conscious choice, but with practice and time, you will be able to shift the gears of your mind quickly and efficiently.  Everything takes practice and know-how. 

We have the power within us to experience that which we desire.  If you desire to experience joy and contentment in life, you can have it. The power starts in your thoughts and moves into your heart and is transferred into words that you express.  We all have the power to express compassion, love, caring and sharing.  The power starts on the inside of you and filters out – one thought at a time.  Remember what we think about is what we become. 

Joan Marie Ambrose

Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

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• Read from the beginning: Why I Started this Blog

Human vulnerability

Reaching out, trying to hold on, afraid to let go – afraid of the unknown, all of those emotions and many more were surfacing through her head as she looked at me and tried to hold her composure.  Are these the words that are expressing Betty’s emotions and thoughts or are they quite possibly my words and my thoughts?  We all will get there some day.  Each one of us, if we are blessed will grow old and quite possibly those same words will filter through our head.

How do we get through it?  How do we prepare?  Who do we trust, that is trust our lives with in the hopes that we will receive the proper treatment, the emotional and physical nurturing and equally important, the respect that we deserve.  Working with Betty and sharing quality time with her caused me to think those thoughts and wonder what my destiny would be when I am 90 years old. 

The vulnerability of humanity is a topic waiting to be examined and discussed openly.  We are all vulnerable to our emotions and feelings and at times those emotions get in the way of our highest and best good. 

For me, vulnerability is a double-edged sword.  There is a degree of fear and worry when we think we may be at risk or exposed in our relationships whether they be personal or professional.  Yet it is the other side of vulnerability that I am speaking to now.  It is that face of  being vulnerable which has peaked my interest and concern because that is a time when we are completely defenseless and weak at the same time and thus unable to care for ourselves.  If you have ever been in love, you have been vulnerable.  If you have been successful in your career, I am sure there were times when you were vulnerable.  At this time, my thoughts go to the defenseless people, the older people as well as the children of the world who need our help; support, encouragement but most of all need our understanding and compassion.  To be vulnerable or susceptible to social or emotional injury is one thing but to be completely defenseless and at the mercy of others is another.  Betty attempted to put on the mask of being in control of herself and her life.  Her outgoing and charismatic personality has been a powerful tool that she has used her entire life to get what she wanted and it has worked well for her.  Yet now she is weakening due to many circumstances that I have alluded to  within this blog.  I was able to see through that mask and I am sure, due to my strong intuitive talents, I was able to see beyond the veil. 

My heart gets broken ever time I see humans act inhumanly.  The vulnerability of humanity in its purest sense is a beautiful thing but when it is misused and abused it becomes quite ugly.  It is those thoughts and feelings that are experienced by the very young as well as the old so is it any wonder that as we grow in years that those feelings do not lessen but only stay firmly rooted in our sensibilites.   This is a question that continually surfaces in my head.  I do not pretend to know the answer.  More and more I am beginning to realize that quite possibly there is no answer;  It might only require an awakening and an awareness into self – how we choose daily to act and interact with others and ourselves as well.  What do you think?



Joan Marie Ambrose

Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

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• Read from the beginning: Why I Started this Blog

In the tangled webs of life we can still find compassion & offer support

In the tangled webs of life we can still find compassion and offer support.

In my mind, compassion is the caring for self and others. Yes, we often forget to be loving and caring to ourselves.  Too often we place ourselves last and ignore the warning sign that our intuitive nature is attempting to share.  Compassion is a virtue that enables you to feel empathy and concern for another.  I do not think of it as sympathy because for me, sympathy has a different connotation. For the short time that I cared for Betty, I was not feeling sorry for her state of affairs or life as it is now but rather I chose to offer her friendship, positive interaction and a sense that joyful possibilities could be hers if she was willing to (in her case) eat properly, walk often and do activities that would strengthen her mind.  Those were my concerns then and still are today.  

I saw first hand how her mental and physical inactivity contributed to her overall degenerating quality of life.  She was left alone for exceptionally long periods of time and while she was alone she simply laid in her bed and vegetated.  You do not have to be a 98 and one-half year old person to sink into that state.  It unfortunately happens to often to many people who fall between the cracks of our society.  It doesn’t take a government to make the changes.  It simply takes people who have a genuine sense of caring and sharing; who have compassion.

Sometimes we don’t have the power to help another, but we can still express compassion and have a sense of sharing and caring because but for the grace of God, that could be me.  In fact, every time I see someone less fortunate that I, whether it be a disabled person, a homeless person or someone challenged in someway, I say a prayer and ask God to give them courage and strength.  I may not have the power to give personal assistance and as with Betty, her family rejected my assistance, but I certainly have the ability to care and give what little I can.  Often the sharing and caring is in the form of a prayer. 

When you are led to believe that your task, your part in any given situation is complete, I also believe that that is the time to walk away gracefully and don’t look back.  For me, looking back opens the door to pain—it can be doubt or what if I could do more—possibly even continue the fight to make your point. None of that matters; what does matter is for you to move onward and upward as you continue on your own personal journey.  So I ask you to contemplate the tangled web of your life and see if there is any room in it for you to express and/or experience compassion?

Joan Marie Ambrose
Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

• Read from the beginning: Why I Started this Blog