The power of the mind

Like everything else in life, the process of aging or getting older has a lot to do with your mental attitude, your outlook of life and the environment within which you live.  Using Betty again as an example, she is a 98 year old woman who was married 5 times, never drove a car and doesn’t know how to cook.  During her lifetime, she enjoyed the benefits of having others do those things for her.  When I ask her about her past, her comment always is:  “Who can remember?”  Yet I know from my own personal experience that while I do not remember ever detail of my past life, I truly can remember the highlights – those memorable moments or times when I felt fulfilled and happy with who I was and who I have become.  When Betty mentions men or sees a good looking man, she immediately responds and wants to strike up a conversation.  She loves to interact with men and thoroughly enjoys bantering with them.  Even if she is tired and a little out of sorts, her entire physiology changes in an instant.  Something in her mind must trigger happy moments with men and she reacts immediately.  I also discovered that when she saw me and I walked into her room, her energy immediately shifted and she got up and wanted to become active.  She smiled, she expressed herself clearly and she made a conscious choice to get up and do something---whether it be go to the kitchen to eat, work on a puzzle or word game or go outside for a walk.  She was and is able to shift gears immediately and in her ability to shift, she has opened herself up to moments of enjoyment and happiness.  These activities bring her joy.  They are fun and she reacts to them with a positive mind and spirit.

My point here is each one of us is capable of shifting gears in our lives.  We have the power to go from a depressed mood to a happy mood if we are willing to make that choice.  We have the power to think positive thoughts in place of negative thoughts if that is our choice and we also have the power to improve our mental attitude and the environment in which we live when we make a conscious effort to do so.   The mind is a powerful tool that can be programmed to experience what you want it to feel.  Many people do not believe in the power of the mind and unfortunately treat it as though it doesn’t matter. 

I ask you to look at it this way; our body and our mind are mechanisms.  We are machines—very elaborate machines with many intricate parts.  Just like a car, if our ride is not smooth and the car is not performing at peak, we try to shift gears; we look for a way to make a change so that the performance that we are seeking is just right. 

Now look at the power behind the mind.  When our performance is off and we feel down or stressed, we actually have the power to shift gears and alter our performance if that is our choice.  Through re-programming our mind, we can learn to shift gears instantaneously.  At first you may not be making a conscious choice, but with practice and time, you will be able to shift the gears of your mind quickly and efficiently.  Everything takes practice and know-how. 

We have the power within us to experience that which we desire.  If you desire to experience joy and contentment in life, you can have it. The power starts in your thoughts and moves into your heart and is transferred into words that you express.  We all have the power to express compassion, love, caring and sharing.  The power starts on the inside of you and filters out – one thought at a time.  Remember what we think about is what we become. 

Joan Marie Ambrose

Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

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• Read from the beginning: Why I Started this Blog

The arm of compassion

How far can the arm of compassion reach?  What do we need to do differently to start including acts of caring and sharing into our daily thoughts?  To answer the first question, I believe that the arm of compassion has no boundaries.  The potential is limitless and its power and strength is immeasurable.

As for the second question, I believe it requires some soul searching on the part of each reader.  For me, I see now that my soul searching precipitated me to write this Blog.  I not only wanted to bring awareness to others but I also had the need to express my thoughts with the hopes that somehow and in some way I could be a catalyst for others to reach out and help someone; or at least muster up some curiosity because curiosity is a precursor to exploration.  Through exploring the depths of our soul, we gain wisdom. 

We hear daily about sexual abuse by educators, bullying in school and in the workplace, neglect and injury being caused to others and most of the time we stand on the sidelines and watch.  I know that I could have stood on the sidelines and watched Betty deteriorate further but I choose to show by example to others that I wanted to share a piece of me with Betty as I openly and willingly came to her aid.  No money was exchanged – Betty’s daughter and husband made it clear. It wasn’t about the money; it was about compassion for another human being who needed help.  When I first started this journey, I thought it was all about Betty but I soon discovered that this experience was helping me define my purpose for living—for in truth it was about me.  It is about having a strong sense of inner peace knowing that I can reach out and touch the soul of someone else and at the same time experience the joy and peace within my soul. 

It is interesting to discover, that when I made Betty happy and laugh, I actually was happy and laughed too.  And when she looked at me and said, this is fun, I, too was having fun.  Isn’t that what we all crave for?  It is the interconnectedness between individuals that helps feed our soul, heal our minds and nurtures our bodies.  We are social being who thrive on relationships and a strong desire to be part of a community.  It is that interconnectedness that helps us survive instead of decay.  I experienced first hand how an elderly human being responded to kindness and genuine thoughtfulness.  It was like awakening a sleeping flower – when it felt the sunlight it opened up and became alert and responsive. 

 Inner peace and happiness is our birthright and I believe is imbedded within our very core. When we feel its energy and absorb those feelings, we are one with our Creator.  Love and compassion go hand in hand with that sense of peace and happiness.  Every time we become insensitive to others, and ourselves we rob ourselves of these gifts. 

There will always be conflict in the world because there are people in the world who thrive on discord and tormenting others.  Sometimes it starts as a game and other times it becomes a mental state of mind.  This blog is not reaching out to those individuals but rather it is being written to people like you and me whom I believe choose to reach down into the depths of our soul and wonder—question and seek meaning and purpose for being here in the first place. Whether we like it or not, we need encouragement and support in our lives.  We notice it most when we are very young and when we are very old.  But that strong connection to feel accepted, loved and respected is within each one of us.  This is our chance to participate with an open and sincere heart as we attempt to share messages of compassion and it is certainly a chance for our voice to be heard. 



Joan Marie Ambrose

Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

Services and Products by Joan Marie Ambrose

• Read from the beginning: Why I Started this Blog

In the tangled webs of life we can still find compassion & offer support

In the tangled webs of life we can still find compassion and offer support.

In my mind, compassion is the caring for self and others. Yes, we often forget to be loving and caring to ourselves.  Too often we place ourselves last and ignore the warning sign that our intuitive nature is attempting to share.  Compassion is a virtue that enables you to feel empathy and concern for another.  I do not think of it as sympathy because for me, sympathy has a different connotation. For the short time that I cared for Betty, I was not feeling sorry for her state of affairs or life as it is now but rather I chose to offer her friendship, positive interaction and a sense that joyful possibilities could be hers if she was willing to (in her case) eat properly, walk often and do activities that would strengthen her mind.  Those were my concerns then and still are today.  

I saw first hand how her mental and physical inactivity contributed to her overall degenerating quality of life.  She was left alone for exceptionally long periods of time and while she was alone she simply laid in her bed and vegetated.  You do not have to be a 98 and one-half year old person to sink into that state.  It unfortunately happens to often to many people who fall between the cracks of our society.  It doesn’t take a government to make the changes.  It simply takes people who have a genuine sense of caring and sharing; who have compassion.

Sometimes we don’t have the power to help another, but we can still express compassion and have a sense of sharing and caring because but for the grace of God, that could be me.  In fact, every time I see someone less fortunate that I, whether it be a disabled person, a homeless person or someone challenged in someway, I say a prayer and ask God to give them courage and strength.  I may not have the power to give personal assistance and as with Betty, her family rejected my assistance, but I certainly have the ability to care and give what little I can.  Often the sharing and caring is in the form of a prayer. 

When you are led to believe that your task, your part in any given situation is complete, I also believe that that is the time to walk away gracefully and don’t look back.  For me, looking back opens the door to pain—it can be doubt or what if I could do more—possibly even continue the fight to make your point. None of that matters; what does matter is for you to move onward and upward as you continue on your own personal journey.  So I ask you to contemplate the tangled web of your life and see if there is any room in it for you to express and/or experience compassion?

Joan Marie Ambrose
Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

• Read from the beginning: Why I Started this Blog

How did I get to this place of caring so deeply?

How did I get to this place of caring so deeply for another human being who is virtually alone at the age of 98 and a half? 

Her family lives in Arizona, and Betty lives alone the majority of the time.  I met her almost four years ago when I moved into our complex.  It was our first day in our new environment when a women walked by on the arm of a friend. She stopped to say hello and welcomed me into the neighborhood.  Betty is her name - an outgoing, slender-built lady, who proceeded to tell me she was 95 years old.  Since then we have become friendly and I would occasionally visit with her and have her to my home for dinner.  But gradually I saw that she was losing a great deal of weight and her ability to sustain herself had diminished.  Then it happened, one day about two months ago I went to her home to visit and she was extremely weak and had trouble walking.  I asked her what was wrong and she said that she didn't know.  My next question was:  "Did you eat anything?"  "I don't know," was the answer.  I walked into her kitchen and there was no food!  Nothing was in the refrigerator and nothing but ginger ale in the cabinet.  I immediately went home and made some tomato soup loaded with rice and brought it back to her.  She ate the entire bowl and stated to feel better.

That was the beginning of this journey that I have chosen to walk.  Helping another human being stay fed and healthy.  I will gradually during this blog share stories about this journey with you because I know that there are many people like Betty in our Country, who are alone and not able to help themselves.  Yet when I look around me, I notice that most people want to turn their heads and look the other way.  They do not want to get involved and they do not want to take the time to help.

This blog, however, is not  simply about this woman: Betty. I believe the message is far deeper and much more urgent.  The bigger story, I believe, is about our lack of compassion and the desire to share and care for other human beings.

In the beginning of civilization, members of communities helped and took care of each other.  The younger took on the burdens of the older and made sure they were safe and secure.  When I called and spoke to Betty's daughter, she said she was concerned but didn't want to spend the money needed to care for her mother.  Betty owns or did own her own home until she turned it over to her daughter and husband.  Their sights are solely on the value that they inherited not the value of helping another human being.  They call her once and sometimes twice a day to hear her voice and then end the conversation.  As Betty has told me numerous times, they only want to know if she is still breathing!

So  why am I so caught up in this story and this negative situation.  Because I care.  Yet when I look deeper into this situation, I also wonder if I am helping out because I do not want this to happen to me.

Wow!  is this what it is all about.  At this moment, I can  honestly say, I don't know.  I do need to sit with it and examine who I am and how I want my life to play out.

Aging is something that happens to all of us.  It is  the inevitable happenstance of life yet, I do believe that we all have the right to age gracefully and with ease and inner peace.  When I see Betty just spending her days laying on her bed doing nothing, I feel a need to get involved.  To stimulate her, to keep her active and alive and above all to keep her nurtured.

I intend to continue this blog on a daily basis, sharing my thoughts and insight into aging and how we humans can learn to be my compassionate through caring and sharing.

Joan Marie Ambrose

Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

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