In the tangled webs of life we can still find compassion & offer support

In the tangled webs of life we can still find compassion and offer support.

In my mind, compassion is the caring for self and others. Yes, we often forget to be loving and caring to ourselves.  Too often we place ourselves last and ignore the warning sign that our intuitive nature is attempting to share.  Compassion is a virtue that enables you to feel empathy and concern for another.  I do not think of it as sympathy because for me, sympathy has a different connotation. For the short time that I cared for Betty, I was not feeling sorry for her state of affairs or life as it is now but rather I chose to offer her friendship, positive interaction and a sense that joyful possibilities could be hers if she was willing to (in her case) eat properly, walk often and do activities that would strengthen her mind.  Those were my concerns then and still are today.  

I saw first hand how her mental and physical inactivity contributed to her overall degenerating quality of life.  She was left alone for exceptionally long periods of time and while she was alone she simply laid in her bed and vegetated.  You do not have to be a 98 and one-half year old person to sink into that state.  It unfortunately happens to often to many people who fall between the cracks of our society.  It doesn’t take a government to make the changes.  It simply takes people who have a genuine sense of caring and sharing; who have compassion.

Sometimes we don’t have the power to help another, but we can still express compassion and have a sense of sharing and caring because but for the grace of God, that could be me.  In fact, every time I see someone less fortunate that I, whether it be a disabled person, a homeless person or someone challenged in someway, I say a prayer and ask God to give them courage and strength.  I may not have the power to give personal assistance and as with Betty, her family rejected my assistance, but I certainly have the ability to care and give what little I can.  Often the sharing and caring is in the form of a prayer. 

When you are led to believe that your task, your part in any given situation is complete, I also believe that that is the time to walk away gracefully and don’t look back.  For me, looking back opens the door to pain—it can be doubt or what if I could do more—possibly even continue the fight to make your point. None of that matters; what does matter is for you to move onward and upward as you continue on your own personal journey.  So I ask you to contemplate the tangled web of your life and see if there is any room in it for you to express and/or experience compassion?

Joan Marie Ambrose
Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

• Read from the beginning: Why I Started this Blog

How did I get to this place of caring so deeply?

How did I get to this place of caring so deeply for another human being who is virtually alone at the age of 98 and a half? 

Her family lives in Arizona, and Betty lives alone the majority of the time.  I met her almost four years ago when I moved into our complex.  It was our first day in our new environment when a women walked by on the arm of a friend. She stopped to say hello and welcomed me into the neighborhood.  Betty is her name - an outgoing, slender-built lady, who proceeded to tell me she was 95 years old.  Since then we have become friendly and I would occasionally visit with her and have her to my home for dinner.  But gradually I saw that she was losing a great deal of weight and her ability to sustain herself had diminished.  Then it happened, one day about two months ago I went to her home to visit and she was extremely weak and had trouble walking.  I asked her what was wrong and she said that she didn't know.  My next question was:  "Did you eat anything?"  "I don't know," was the answer.  I walked into her kitchen and there was no food!  Nothing was in the refrigerator and nothing but ginger ale in the cabinet.  I immediately went home and made some tomato soup loaded with rice and brought it back to her.  She ate the entire bowl and stated to feel better.

That was the beginning of this journey that I have chosen to walk.  Helping another human being stay fed and healthy.  I will gradually during this blog share stories about this journey with you because I know that there are many people like Betty in our Country, who are alone and not able to help themselves.  Yet when I look around me, I notice that most people want to turn their heads and look the other way.  They do not want to get involved and they do not want to take the time to help.

This blog, however, is not  simply about this woman: Betty. I believe the message is far deeper and much more urgent.  The bigger story, I believe, is about our lack of compassion and the desire to share and care for other human beings.

In the beginning of civilization, members of communities helped and took care of each other.  The younger took on the burdens of the older and made sure they were safe and secure.  When I called and spoke to Betty's daughter, she said she was concerned but didn't want to spend the money needed to care for her mother.  Betty owns or did own her own home until she turned it over to her daughter and husband.  Their sights are solely on the value that they inherited not the value of helping another human being.  They call her once and sometimes twice a day to hear her voice and then end the conversation.  As Betty has told me numerous times, they only want to know if she is still breathing!

So  why am I so caught up in this story and this negative situation.  Because I care.  Yet when I look deeper into this situation, I also wonder if I am helping out because I do not want this to happen to me.

Wow!  is this what it is all about.  At this moment, I can  honestly say, I don't know.  I do need to sit with it and examine who I am and how I want my life to play out.

Aging is something that happens to all of us.  It is  the inevitable happenstance of life yet, I do believe that we all have the right to age gracefully and with ease and inner peace.  When I see Betty just spending her days laying on her bed doing nothing, I feel a need to get involved.  To stimulate her, to keep her active and alive and above all to keep her nurtured.

I intend to continue this blog on a daily basis, sharing my thoughts and insight into aging and how we humans can learn to be my compassionate through caring and sharing.

Joan Marie Ambrose

Author, Creative Writer, Motivational Speaker

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